I always lived in fear and danger

The New Paper | Mon Nov 8 2010

Gangster who once slashed rival till his head 'split open' gets changed by mother's love and a university dean's faith in him.

A DECADE ago, he was carrying choppers and spending his evenings fighting in gangs. Twice, he stabbed men from rival gangs. Both times, he paid for it - with hefty prison sentences and multiple strokes of the cane. Today, Mr David Thorairajan Manickam, 29, can only look back with deep remorse over his violent past. He is now on the cusp of graduating with a degree in Psychology and Organisational Behaviour and Human Resource at the Singapore Management University (SMU).

Firstly, I would like to say that I am glad that Mr. Thorairajan had changed a lot from his past and had turned to be a man that would stand out to the public and let them know about his past. And his only motive to let people know was because he wanted to teach the younger ones of not following his actions in the past. It had been a pain and remorseful past for him and a painful experience for his family. 

Secondly, from this phrase, “But all this would likely not have happened and he would have continued on his path of destruction if not for the one person who turned him around - his mother.”.  I was touched as i saw this phrase. His mum had always been there for him and till at the point of time where everything goes wrong for him, his mother saved him from getting deeper into endless destruction.

From this paragraph, “ Mr Thorairajan, who still sports tattoos all over his body and has the Tamil words "I am not a good guy but a bad guy" tattooed on the back of his right hand as a searing reminder of his dark past, told The New Paper on Sunday: "When she came to see me in jail the last time in 2002, I just burst out crying.We were separated by a glass panel and I couldn't even touch her."I realised then I had caused her and my family a lot of pain and I had to change."Her love supported me when I was in darkness and isolation in prison." .”

I felt heartbroken for him, as because of a moment of folly, he did such remorseful actions. Seeing how his dearest mum that loved him so much to cry for him, seeing his only beloved son in jail but was helpless. I could nearly feel how Mr. Thorairajan had felt at that moment, how painful would his heart had felt. How guilty and remorseful could he been at that point of time and regretful of his actions. Therefore, people please think carefully before you act, it may lead to something you might not have expected and may be disastrous.

Mr. Thorairajan changed much and studied hard as his efforts started to pay off. He took his N levels, O levels with five distinctions and A levels scoring five Bs. It was such a gleeful matter to know how hard he has worked out for all these results and had proved that he really wanted to change. As time passed by, he was out of prison and involved with the “’Architects of Life’ programme which it works with the youths at risk which they conduct motivational and educational programmes for various schools.

Mr. Thorairajan said, "I use my life as an ex-offender to tell young people that they can turn their lives around too. I want to inspire others to realise that if I can do this, they can do it too." I found that he was very courageous to be able to speak about his past to let the young people know that although they may had done wrong, but if they wanted to turn back, there is always a chance and the first thing to do would be giving yourself a chance to turn back.

Lastly, I would like to say about recent cases in Singapore. Singapore had quite a few cases of death recently such as the death at Downtown east. I wish they would be able to learn from Mr. Thorairajan  to turn back in life or be able to pull themselves from the path of destruction as from what Mr. Thorairajan said, "I want to tell them that whatever they do affects not only themselves, but their loved ones." .”

In conclusion, I would like to say if you think your life only belongs to you and what might happen to you is only concern to yourself, you are totally WRONG. I do not believe that people are born to be bad but changed due to various factors and mostly, people have their loved ones too. Therefore, think for a moment, what effect it might have on your loved ones before you take any actions. You would not like to be like Mr. Thorairajan when he was in jail and heartbroken he was to see his beloved mother to cry helplessly and knew that everything was too late.

Felicia Tan

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